Several weeks ago I was on a Zoom call late in the evening with some of my team members and a few clients. There was one particular client who I was magnetically drawn to even though this was an online meeting. She had such a powerful presence that I found myself looking at her and nobody else. When she spoke, I latched on to every word. She exuded this supreme confidence that created an aura around her that was super attractive.
This got me thinking on the subject of charisma. Who are the most charismatic people I know and what is it about them that draws me to them? Is it a characteristic that is innate or can it be developed?
I started observing people intently in the meetings I’ve had since then. I’ve been trying to unpack this idea of magnetic charisma. Here’s what I think it takes.
Well groomed.
You don’t have to be kitted in expensive clothes to stand out but first impressions count so pay attention to what you wear. You can’t roll out of bed and show up in clothes that are not ironed. I found many who have this look which is not pleasing at all! Your clothes should fit you well and you should be comfortable in them. Hair, shoes and other accessories matter as well. Keep them minimal and make sure they fit with your outfit even if your style is shabby chic and not super professional. Make-up and perfume are personal choices. Some can easily carry off the no make-up look but others look washed out. Whether you use a perfume or not, make sure you don’t have bad odour or bad breath. Both are hugely offputting and you will drive people away before you’ve even had a chance to charm them. If you do wear perfume, keep it neutral. Strong scents can be polarising.
Warmth.
Do you address others by their name? Do you smile? Do you have an air of positivity about you? Sometimes a firm handshake, a tight hug or a kiss on the cheek may be appropriate as well. Looking others straight in the eye also shows your confidence and desire to connect.
Presence.
What is the space you occupy physically and metaphorically? Are you making the other person feel like they are the centre of your attention in a one on one setting? In a group setting, do you “own the room” like my client did in the incident I narrated at the start? Are you fully present? Being on devices are of course a huge distraction and depending on the cultural context can be disrespectful as well. And as experienced you may have become, multi-tasking in Zoom meetings detracts from the command you could otherwise have. Are you calm and centred or is your anxiety and stress written all over your face?
Empathy.
Are you showing up always thinking about how you can brighten the moment? Make it less about yourself and more about the other/others. Are you demonstrating interest? Are you asking open-ended questions? Are you tapping into your EQ to judge the mood of the moment and acting accordingly?
Infectious energy.
To me, this is the most important trait of magnetically charismatic people. In addition to being well groomed, bursting with warmth, having an undeniable presence and being full of empathy, charismatic people exude an infectious energy. Maybe they are super excited about their vision or ideas. Maybe they have something new to share with you. Or perhaps they are just very keen to hear your views.
The facial expressions, the body gestures and tone of voice they use all emit a positive energy that you’re bound to catch.
I believe that anybody can work on developing magnetic charisma. It just takes intention and effort. Do you agree?
To get started, listen to nano tips for developing magnetic charisma from Shadé Zahrai, award-winning peak performance specialist and behavioural strategist.
Over to you now:
Who are the people in your life who are high on magnetic charisma? Can you recognise these behaviours in them?
Would people list charisma as an element of your personal brand? Would you want them to?
How might you consciously practice some of the behaviours that would help in developing your magnetic charisma?