Today I want to talk about internal barriers to success at the workplace, especially for women. We have so many talented and ambitious women entering the workplace every year but only a fraction of these women make it to senior levels.
External barriers like the culture of the organisation, gender bias, lack of flexibility, pay gap and other elements are not in our control. While these factors certainly hinder the ability of many women to succeed, the key to unlocking opportunity for women is to simultaneously overcome internal barriers that are holding us back. These include self-limiting beliefs, lack of confidence, staying in our comfort zones, and not tapping into others for help.
Self-limiting beliefs
The problem is this: For generations, societal conditioning has laid out how men and women should act. From a very young age, many girls are repeatedly told that they are not strong enough or smart enough, and that they are not as important as boys. Their personas are cultivated to be respectful, polite, and helpful to others. As a result, when many women enter the workplace, they bring with them an inner voice that continually doubts their own competence and worth. This results in a lack of faith in what they can accomplish, even though they may have the brightest mind or highest potential in their peer group. Silencing the inner critic is critical for a woman’s career progression and vital for her to thrive in senior positions.
Here are three ways to silence your inner critic:
1. Practice Self-Compassion:
Cultivate self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a close friend. When your inner critic starts to berate you, counteract those negative thoughts with positive and compassionate self-talk. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, has flaws, and goes through difficult times. Be understanding and forgiving towards yourself. Mindfulness and meditation techniques can also help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, making it easier to respond to self-critical thoughts with self-compassion.
2. Challenge Negative Thoughts:
Actively challenge your negative thoughts. When you catch yourself being self-critical, question the validity of these thoughts. Ask yourself if there is any evidence to support these negative beliefs. Often, you'll realize that your inner critic is exaggerating or distorting the truth. Replace these negative thoughts with positive affirmations or statements that are based on evidence and reality. For instance, if your inner critic says, "I'm terrible at everything," counteract it with evidence of your past successes or compliments you've received from others. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques can be particularly helpful in identifying and challenging negative thought patterns.
3. Develop a Growth Mindset:
Cultivate a growth mindset, which is the belief that your abilities and intelligence can be developed with effort, learning, and dedication. Embrace challenges and view failures as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than as indications of your worth. When your inner critic tells you that you're not good enough, remind yourself that you are a work in progress and that making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process. Celebrate your efforts and progress, no matter how small they may seem. By adopting a growth mindset, you can change the way you perceive yourself and your abilities, leading to a more positive self-image.
Lack of confidence
Imposter Syndrome—the feeling that you don’t deserve your job and are an imposter who can be found out at any moment—is a feeling familiar to many women. In fact, an academic study found that this syndrome affects close to 70 percent of people at some point, but most prominently women. Imposter syndrome means that while we may be accomplished, we still don’t rate ourselves as highly as our male counterparts. We don’t speak up and let our voice be heard. We are not aggressive in asking for more. We worry disproportionately about not being liked, outshining others, or promoting ourselves too much. A study from Cornell University found that men overestimate their abilities and performance, while women underestimate both. In reality, women’s actual performance does not differ in quality or quantity from men’s on average. And yet the gender confidence difference is real. For women who want to succeed in today’s world, believing that you can accomplish anything is a critical starting point. Innovative training programs that bring women together and help them build self-confidence can go a long way in shaping the women leaders of tomorrow. Here are three ways to overcome imposter syndrome:
1. Acknowledge and Reframe Your Thoughts:
Recognize that imposter syndrome is a common feeling that many successful individuals experience. When you catch yourself thinking that you don't deserve your accomplishments, consciously challenge these thoughts. Reframe negative self-talk into positive affirmations. Focus on your skills, experiences, and the hard work that led you to where you are. Remind yourself that your achievements are a result of your abilities and efforts.
2. Celebrate Your Achievements:
Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your successes, no matter how small they might seem. Keep a journal of your accomplishments, skills, and positive feedback from others. When you're feeling like an imposter, revisit this journal to reinforce your self-confidence. Celebrating your achievements can help you internalize your successes and counteract feelings of inadequacy.
3. Seek Support and Mentorship:
Connect with a supportive network of friends, family, or colleagues who can provide encouragement and perspective. Share your feelings of self-doubt with trusted individuals, as they can offer reassurance and help you gain a more realistic view of your abilities. Additionally, consider finding a mentor, especially a successful woman in your field, who can offer guidance, share their own experiences with imposter syndrome, and provide valuable advice on how to navigate these feelings.
Staying in the comfort zone
Perhaps one of the most limiting career moves women fall prey to is staying in our comfort zones. As we get older and more comfortable with our jobs, it can seem easier to go with the flow rather than doing something to shake up the status quo. It’s scary to step out and try something challenging—something you never thought possible. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, and fear of judgement often hold us back. But it is this very leap that women need to make into order to grow and progress. We must keep picking up new skills. We must be the first to raise our hands when opportunities come along, and the first to confidently take the plunge into the unknown when the time is right. Once we trust ourselves to do this, the confidence gained from stepping out of our comfort zone directly impacts our self-esteem and outlook on life.
You can revisit my newsletter Edition 2: On Taking the Leap for ideas on going beyond your comfort zone.
Not tapping into others
You have to be very strategic about who you chose as a mentor because of the power that others can have on your career. Woman should look at their own industry— and even outside it—to make a list of the top people who can really help them achieve their ambitions. It’s then up to each of us to make these connections or find ways to be introduced to our top influencers in real life. In some cases, it may take a while to reach the top people you want to meet, but it never hurts to ask—and you’ll be surprised how often it’s a “yes” rather than a “no.” Outside of merely building our own networks, women should be mentors to others.By opening up our networks and sharing contacts and resources generously, we deliberately treat others as we hope we’ll be treated in return.
Reaching the finish line
While there are still many external barriers that we may not have direct control over, internal barriers to success are elements that we can work to overcome. To succeed, women will have to spend time reflecting and focusing on themselves, pushing themselves to step outside their comfort zones and take on new challenges with confidence. Coupled with a supportive and encouraging work environment, we can take ourselves—and the women around us—further than we ever dreamed possible.
Over to you now:
List all the barriers to your success at the workplace.
Which of these are internal and fully in your control?
Which internal barrier will you choose to work on first?
"Most barriers to your success are man-made. And most often, you're the man who made them."
-FRANK TYGER